Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be." -Marianne Williamson

Well, a week into the new year and already new adventures await...

I'm officially sharing the Wednesday morning Zumba class with Shelby! So that brings me up to 2-3 classes a week at the Y, depending on the week.

But back to what this post really is about...

I'm auditioning for 24 Hour Fitness - again. I kept it more or less a secret the last time I auditioned, as I wanted to spare my feelings by not having to tell people if I didn't get hired. Well, I ended up not being hired. I'm realizing months later, I think I actually made it worse by keeping it a secret - suffering in silence and not sharing my experiences, whether they are positive or negative. Not only that, but by keeping it to myself, I lost out on the support from friends and family that I clearly needed.

So I'm sharing with the world this time... I'm auditioning for a position as a sub for Zumba THIS Saturday at 5:00 p.m.!

Needless to say, I'm more nervous the second time around. My last audition was one-on-one with the manger. Three songs and three chances to dazzle her. This time, it's a group setting with only time for ONE song each - and a new manager to impress. I've got one shot to get it right! 

I've been ripping myself apart ever since I confirmed my attendance:

I can't salsa or samba. 

I dance on my tip-toes. 

I'm too "dancey".

I need to cue better.

Not to mention I'm driving myself (and I'm sure all my instructor friends that I keep texting!) crazy trying to choose a song...

Story time!

A couple of Y instructors surprised me and showed up to my class last week Thursday. I don't think I looked at them once the entire hour and these two lovely ladies are my friends! I go to their classes as frequently as I can! Yet I was almost embarrassed - like somehow I was going to disappoint them...  

Then I realized the bigger issue: Confidence.

I stay inside my little comfort zone next to the stereo and a tad off to the left... Mere inches from where used to be my "spot" in studio one before I got my class.

Where did my confidence go?

Who am *I* to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? 

I live by the motto, "Never let anyone dull your sparkle!"...But here I am doing just that! Dulling my own damn sparkle!

I'm getting in the way of myself! Who am I NOT to be those things? 

I'm talented and fabulous enough that the Y gave me classes of my own. People keep coming back each week to boogie with me, so I must be doing something right :)

So I'm gonna go on Saturday and I'm gonna give it my all. Even if I don't get hired, then I'm in the exact same position I'm in now... But I'll never know if I don't try! 

Think a happy thought or two for me and send me some good vibes!

Stay sparkly,

Kristyn